想起我已過世的父母时，我突然觉得对自己的父母却如此陌生…我並不是很了解他们。父親是一位勤力、老實、有责任感，对孩子很嚴束，不苟言笑。记憶中我们单独最長的一段时间是他帶我去做第一張身份証，办完后，可能是因为我十二岁生日，所以回家前他帶我去点心茶樓吃東西，那时候我感覺很特别，不知道是不是高興感动？當时去点心茶樓吃東西是很稀罕的！父親是很捨得買東西给家人，如他就曾買一整籃的小榴槤。但是我们没有很多的交談，住在一起情感却不親近。母親没有受过教育，她很節儉、好动的。可惜她疑心重常令父親不与她交談，陷入冷戰，家里就没有温馨的感覺。（如果父母知道这是一种对家人無形的殺伤力，我想他们一定设法解决問題而不希望冷戰吧！但在旧时的社会体制没有人教你怎样做父母，如何解压！）虽然我们不是如童话故事中有一个幸福快樂的家，但父母至少是让一家人都温飽，踏实的生话，我还是很感谢父母恩。其實我也得承認，他们在世时我並没做好女儿的角色…
惟願及祈祷我父母往生淨土。
When I recall my late parents, I feel like I wasn’t very close to them…I didn’t understand them much. My father was a hardworking, responsible, honest man, but too serious and never chatted much with his kids. In my memory, the longest time alone with my father was when he brought me to apply for my identity card when I was 12 years old. On the way back home, perhaps it was also my birthday, he bought me ‘dim sum’ in a restaurant. It was rare as a kid at that time to have a meal in a restaurant; I had a special feeling but wasn’t sure the feeling was happy? My father was generous buying food for us sometimes, like when he had bought a whole basket of durians (a kind of fruits). However, we didn’t talk much, even in our home, so our relationship was not so close. My mother was never educated in school, but she was an active, economical person. She was too suspicious of her husband and they didn’t talk to each other for quite a long time, so I didn’t feel our family was harmonious. (If parents knew that their ‘silent war’ was a kind of invisible hurting to the whole family, I think they might have tried harder to solve things. And I think at that time in their community, nobody taught you how to parent or how to solve stress!) Even though our family was not like a children’s story of a very happy family, I am really grateful and appreciate that my parents gave us enough food, clothes and a stable home. In fact, I admitted I was not a good daughter to them while they were still alive…
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