Monday, September 29, 2008

Public security

有一句香港电影的对白大概是这样的,有一警察凶恶对待一罪犯,罪犯顶咀警察说,凶什么,如果没有我们这些人,你有这工作?

也有电影讽刺警察等到劫匪逃了,警察才敢出现!

马来西亞的治安越来越糟,但这对人民生命安全及钱财被劫方面严重受威胁的事,都不见有很多执政者正视。上星期槟城有三宗政治人物的妻女,一位被劫杀﹔俩位各被抢财这下可是大事,当然事情会较被关注,所以就有人大提遏止罪案滋生!

警察本来就有工做嘛,但这下不知是不是会很忙而已!还有可能警察不够用啦!

求学时,当老師要我们写我的志愿,警察曾是我其中的一个志愿。当然我没达成这个志愿!不知道现在的华裔学生有几个会写志愿是当警察,若有的话,那可能他们的父母也会要他们改写

我小时候与朋友们玩耍,有一个遊戏叫‘mata lia chat’(兵捉贼)…. 如今我不再看到有小孩玩这遊戏了!

There was a conversation in a Hong Kong movie; a policeman was mean to a prisoner, that prisoner became angry and said, “Why are you so mean? If you didn’t have us criminals, you wouldn’t have this work.”

Another movie also made a crack about police waiting for robbers to leave before they dare appear!

The public security in Malaysia is getting worse and worse. There are serious threats to peoples’ life and money, but the government is not solving it seriously. Last week, there were three cases involving politicians’ wives and daughter; one got robbed & killed and two got robbed…. These were ‘big’ cases, so of course, they are high profile. So, people voiced up about stopping the rising crime!

Sure police should have their work to do, but we don’t know if they are doing more or not! And maybe, ‘police no enough’!

While in the school, the teachers wanted us to write ‘What I want to be…’. ‘Police’ was one of the things I wanted to be. Of course, I didn’t become one! Nowadays, I am not sure how many students would write that they want to be police. Even if some want to be police, maybe their parents would want them to change to another one…

When I was a kid, I played with friends; there was a game called ‘cops and robbers’…. I don’t see this game played by the kids nowadays!

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Thankful for being on the giving end

其实我写了关於捐血的事后,本想再继续写关於有些华人的观念或借口,如要吃很多补才能有血、身体发肤受之父母岂能毁伤、去医院是不吉利的、怕捐血用的针等等

Steve 的姐Sue读了我的blog即给我回应,我想也正符合我要鼓励人捐血,我就借用她的分享(翻译自英文)﹕

我刚读你写关於捐血,很喜爱它!我有捐 platelets(血子板/凝血细胞)即是血的其中成份。我喜欢可以每两星期捐血细胞。血细胞可用於那些癌症者的血(尤其是他们的血细胞)已被化疗毁灭。它要用一、两个小时的過程从身体抽出血,血經過分离机留下血细胞和一点血浆,然后将红血球输送回捐者。当我捐血细胞完走出医院室,并不会感到疲乏或软弱。我从不知道我的血会输给谁,只希望捐献能帮助某人。我曾在血库工作過,见過那是多么需求血。我很高兴你有捐血。我有登记捐骨髓,但在一次被传招时我身怀Alec,所以不能。对於血和骨髓的事例,我常感谢我是施舍者好過是接受者。我有很多要感激的。感谢鼓励人捐血!

After I wrote about donating blood, I wanted to continue writing about how some Chinese believe or have excuses, like you need to eat a lot of nourishing foods/supplements to gain back the blood; the whole body is a gift from the parents and it is not showing filial piety to destroy any part of it; it is bad luck if you go in a hospital; they are afraid of needles; and etc…

Steve’s sister, Sue, responded to me after she read my blog. I think it matches my thoughts, encouraging people to donate blood, so I will share her writing:

“I just read your blog about donating blood. LOVED IT! I have donated platelets, which are a component of blood. I like that I'm able to donate platelets every two weeks. They use platelets to help cancer patients whose blood (specifically their platelets) have been destroyed by chemotherapy. It's 1-2 hour process whereby they take the blood out of the body, run it through a centrifuge, keep the platelets and a little plasma, and return the red blood cells to the donor. When I donate platelets, I don't get as tired and feel as worn down afterward. I have never known who my blood goes to, but I just hope the donations I give help someone. I used to work at a blood bank, and I saw how much there was a need for blood. I'm glad you've donated. I'm on the registry for bone marrow, but the only time I've ever been called I was pregnant with Alec, and couldn't give. In the case of blood and bone marrow, I always give thanks that I'm able to be on the giving end, rather than the receiving end. I have much to be thankful for. Thanks for encouraging people to donate blood!”

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Donate blood

当病者需要输血,通常马来西亞的医院都会要求其家人捐血补回血库,若补足那医院就不计病者所输血的账,所以有时候我会收到一些关於找人捐血的email。
以前我妈也曾住院需要输血,我在她床边一晚,早上醒来,我就去捐血的部门,我捐血完毕回到母亲病房时,突然眼前看到的都是‘星星’ ,我坐下来后昏旋感才慢慢消失,可能是没吃任何东西就去捐血的原故吧… 我曾捐血過,都没任何异状啊!后来,有一朋友的亲人需要输血,我到病者住的医院欲捐血,该部门人员检查我的血液后说,我的血压及铁质低,不能要我的血反而给我一点免费补药!
其实我要告诉大家,我收到一位朋友珠珠的意见很建设性…
“找人捐血應提供給欲捐血者的幾 點資料:
1. 病者的姓名。
2. 病者的身份證號碼、年齡﹙避免同名同姓者的混亂﹚。
3. 病者患的什麼病﹙大概的講即可,有時捐血部門的醫務人員會問到捐者無法回答﹚
4. 病者最親近家屬的聯絡姓名、電話﹙捐者可以先向其家屬了解了才去醫院捐血,避免去到醫院找不到人,或病者已不需要血的情況發生,因為現代人都很忙,好不容易抽到時間跑去醫院又被拒、或落空而白跑一趟的﹚。”
If a patient needs a blood transfusion, normally hospitals in Malaysia will ask the patient’s family to replace blood in their blood bank. If all of the blood is replaced, the patient is not charged for the blood used during the transfusion. So, sometimes I would receive emails from the hospitals looking for blood donors for a patient.
My late mom had been in the hospital and needed a blood transfusion also; I was there with her the whole night. The next morning I went to donate blood, after that I returned to my mom’s room. Suddenly, I saw nothing but ‘stars’. I sat down a little while, and the dazzle slowly faded. Maybe it was because I didn’t have breakfast before I donated blood… I have donated blood a few times and nothing happened before! After that, a friend’s relative needed a blood transfusion and I went to the hospital to donate blood. The staff tested my blood and said my blood pressure and iron were low, so they couldn’t take my blood, but gave me some free supplements instead!
In fact, what I want to share is my friend, CC, sent her comment (I translated to English) which is a good suggestion…
“Those looking for blood donors should provide the following information:
1. Patient’s name.
2. Patient’s ID no. and age (to avoid confuse if they have the same name).
3. Patient’s case (a little bit of info because sometimes the staff asks the donor and he/she has no idea at all).
4. The name and phone no. of a close family member of the patient (the donor should call the patient’s family to discuss the situation before going to the hospital for blood donation, because the patient might not need any more, the patient has been discharged, etc. Nowadays, people are busy, and arranging a little time to go to the hospital can be difficult, and many hate wasting time if they are rejected or go for nothing).”

Monday, September 22, 2008

Air show


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去年St. Louis的空展非常棒,但那是最后一次空展。今年得知Illinois州有空展,我们坐了一小时的地铁来到Scott空军营观赏,相比之下,这空展的飞机展览较少及空中表演也较逊色些




































Last year, there was a great air show in St. Louis, but it was the final year for that show. This year, we heard there was an air show in Illinois, so we took a one hour journey by train to Scott Air Force base to see the show. If compared, this air show did not have as many plane exhibitions and the performances were not as good…



Thursday, September 18, 2008

Secrets to Happiness

快樂,不須要任何理由!我們在PBS電台看了作者Marci Shimoff

演講介紹其著作,她列出其重点(我翻譯自英文)分享:

1. 為你自己的快樂負責任

2. 學習寬恕 - 自己和别人

3. 心存感恩

4. 不要相信你所有的想法

5. 修行靜坐和專注心念

6. 活出生命的意義

7. 培養滋潤關係

Happy for No Reason! We watched a talk on PBS by Marci Shimoff, an author promoting her book and DVD, she shared some good points:
1. Take responsibility for your own happiness
2. Practice forgiveness – yourself and others
3. Focus on gratitude
4. Don’t believe everything you think
5. Practice meditation & mindfulness
6. Live a life inspired by purpose
7. Cultivate nourishing relationships

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Koong Chai Paeng

今年我这里的中秋很冷清,觉得很不甘寂寞,至少要吃到月饼才像样嘛臨时兴起不如要Steve做公仔饼,来个小庆祝一下吧!它们看起来很不错但口感不好,太硬了。下次再试做吧。

中秋节快乐!

This year’s Mid-Autumn/Moon Cake Festival (the 15th day in the eighth lunar month) is very quiet here. I like to have fun and at least want to eat moon cake… So, I encouraged Steve to try making ‘koong chai paeng’ (a type of moon cake), then we could have a small celebration! They looked pretty but the taste and texture were not so good. We might try again next time.

Happy Mid-Autumn/Moon Cake Festival!

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Potato bread, English muffin bread, wheat bread & multi-grain bread

早上吃了水果后,麵包已成为我日常的早餐。Steve分別做了各類的麵包,都非常可口…
In the morning I like to have fruit, and then my breakfast is normally bread. Steve has baked several different kinds of breads; they were delicious. There was potato bread, English muffin bread, wheat bread and multi-grain bread…

Monday, September 8, 2008

The essential requirements

我之前當輔導義工時,曾拹助朋友到中學校的學生輔導團當課程催化員,我很喜歡與青少年互動,我覺得朋友並不須要有年齡的界線,我給他們我的聯絡電話,有幾位主動與我聯系,都稱呼我心忆姐,我也樂得當姐姐,因為我在家庭中排行最小,總覺得自己地位小要叫人哥姐,當我被人叫姐時,卻使我有些威大感。有一位小我幾岁的男性朋友,每次他都稱呼我老大,我曾問他為什麼稱我老大,他说我有點像一部西方電影的一位黑社會老大,那老大的氣度讓他尊敬,我雖不大知道我是有那些如他印象的老大般,但被叫老大,更使我有些豪邁感,哈哈

話說那幾位中學生有聯系我的,四年後,都各进進入大學我來美國後有兩位改用email繼續聯系。上个月就這麼巧的,分别收到他們email告訴我(他們各自)所遇到的感情事件當然我很樂意回覆。現我大略取一部份我回覆的内容與大家分享:

1. 大多是我談自已的經歷(輔導技巧之一: 自我表露),‘…那時三十多歲了,我覺得很孤單這麼多年都没有男友,我參加一個團體治療時,我有機會把我的疑惑講出來為何我還没有伴侣?經與那洋籍(Christopher Moon)老師對話後,他告訴我說,你知道嗎,那個人擁有你是多麼幸运的人老師又說,寫出你要的*伴侣具備的條件,如年齡,等等,把這紙收在身上,遇到男士時拿出對一對,他是否擁有這些。我這樣子做找了8年,我覺得你的時間比我短,不到3年就可找到,要用多長時間才能擁有,那得靠你自己。我之後真的很有自信,也有寫出一小張紙。每天我也觀想,上天一定會眷顧着我,一定會讓我擁有最美好的伴侣。”… 真的三年多後,我遇到他(現在已是我的丈夫)。我的分享是要你知道,你現在的過程只是讓你更成長學習,你要對自己有信心,將來不怕没人愛。要懂得愛自己才能愛别人,不然兩人在一起也不一定會幸福。

2. 大多是教導式,‘… 是的,有些人較含蓄不善於與長輩溝通,可能你媽媽不體諒你男友這點。哈哈,我想你媽吃醋你站在男友那邊!可不要對你媽說,她吃醋呵,不然她又氣你了!就是這樣,誰要聽人說他/她不好的話,若你多對你媽說好話,可能又不一樣了,讓她覺得你有了男友,反而更懂事,快樂,愛家人,那她一定放心你交的男友。同樣的,與男友多說一些你與媽及家人和樂有趣的事,讓他感受到可以很輕鬆接近你家人,而不是要你男友怎樣怎樣做。總之,從你的展現對雙方面的愛,所謂愛屋及烏,他們都會因為你而自己改觀。


*我所寫的伴侣具備的條件中,忘了寫國籍種族!意想不到是讓我找到遠在半球的伴侣!奉勸單身者若相信此做法,那要寫得詳細點哦嘻嘻!

While I was a counseling volunteer, I used to be a workshop helper for a group of students counseling in a Chinese high school. I like to have friends and did not consider their age, so I like teenagers too. I gave them my contact information and some of them keep in contact with me. They call me ‘’ (elder sister - Chinese has different words for elder and younger sisters) and I love to be an elder sister. Since I was the youngest in my family and must call my elders, brother or sister, I always felt I was lowest. So when I heard them call me, I felt ‘bigger’. I have a friend who is younger than me, and he always calls me ‘老大’ (big boss). I asked him why he calls me 老大, and he said my character was a little similar to the role of a “big boss” in a western gangster in a movie; that he respected that kind of big boss. I am not sure why his impression of me was a “big boss”, but when I heard he called me老大 I felt a little bit heroic. Haha…

Let’s talk about the teenagers who keep in contact with me. After four years, they are in colleges…. There are two who still contact me through email since I moved to the USA. I was surprised when each wrote to me about love relationship issues last month…. Of course, it was my pleasure to reply to them. Now, I think to share part of my reply with you:

1. I mostly talked about my experiences (self-disclosure, a counseling skill), ‘…that time I was in my 30s, still didn’t have a boyfriend, and I felt lonely. I attended a group-psychotherapy, and I had a chance to talk about my doubt – why don’t I have a soul mate yet? During a conversation with the teacher, Christopher Moon, who is a westerner, he told me, “Do you know, the one who has you is the luckiest.” He said, “Write a list of the essential requirements* for your soul mate, like age, specific characteristics, etc. Keep it in your wallet and when you meet a man, take it out and see if he matches or not. I personally did this and I found mine after eight years, I think you will take less time; you will find him in three years. How long you need depends on you.” I was very confident and I wrote the list. Everyday I thought “the Universe will guide me and I am sure I will meet the best soul mate.” … After three years, I really met him (my husband now)…. My sharing is to let you know that your issues were helping you to learn more. You need to learn to love yourself first and build your self-confidence. If not, you might not work well for a happy relationship.’

2. Mostly provided guidance, ‘…Yes, maybe he doesn’t know how to communicate with your parents. Maybe your mom didn’t understand this about your boyfriend. Haha, I think your mom might be resentful you would side with boyfriend! But don’t say your mom is resentful; if you do, she will get defensive and get mad at you again! After all, who wants to listen to people criticizing them? If you say more good words to your mom then it might be different. She might think you are more understanding, happy, and love your family more since you have a boyfriend. The same goes for your boyfriend. Do not tell him he needs to do this or that, but talk more with him about your family and happiness, so he might feel it is easy to approach your family. In short, expressing your love to both parties, they will change their minds because of you.’


*In the list of essential requirements I wrote, I forgot about nationality and race! I unexpectedly met my soul mate, who is from the other side of the earth! If you are single and want to try doing a list, I advise you to write as specifically as possible…whoo-hoo!

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Culture

我讀了一篇轉發email文標題<當信任瓦解, 社會也就崩潰>,我猜作者是台灣人,其文大意是 ‘… 在美國,你去商店買東西,事後不論任何理由,都可去退貨還錢。因此,有一些人(一 些台灣人和更多的大陸人)過幾天要出席重要宴會,就去「買」一套名牌衣服,穿去赴宴之後,再去退錢。…這些人對自己的行為洋洋得意,還到處宣揚自己的聰明,甚至納悶為何眾多的別人那麼「愚蠢」,不會利用這個「漏洞」,把占人家便宜看成「聰明」,把奸巧看成「能力強」,把挑撥族群看成「和解共生」,真的是價值錯亂了。… 今天你會鑽法律漏洞,明天你掌權了,就會去修改法律,讓自己的違法變合法。這幾年來,我們看了太多這種例子了。…美國人想法單純多了,進去(「大都會博物館」)就是要買門票…。基本上美國人相信大家都是守法的好人,所以門口工作人員很少。…美國商店無條件退貨的機制… 都建立在「信任」的基礎上,當「信任」瓦解,社會也會崩潰。也因此,他們可以容忍政客做錯事,卻不容許政客說謊。台灣呢? 我們則是「假到真時真亦假」,每個人都虛虛實實,整個社會是在「懷疑」的基礎上運作。當彼此信任度越高,管理就越少,彼此方便,成本自然下降,工作也越愉快。相反的彼此猜忌、防範、圍堵、監督。不但降低生產力,工作也被動,不愉快。各位親愛的夥伴..您是否也發現當您和周遭朋友、同事處於信任的環境中,做起事情來都非常的有效率,而且默契十足;但是,處於猜忌和不諒解的情形下,任何事物都進展的很不順利...... 您了解了這道理。從現在開始,就將心胸打開,用開放的心情,信任的態度,來對待每一位夥伴;或許剛開始,會發現,吃了很多虧,大家都還是防來防去,那是因為您的夥伴還不習慣您的處世態度。’
Steve通常在商店買了東西,都很少去退貨,除非真是發現不適用。
我在紐約坐地鐵时,因不是很熟悉坐地鐵,有一次,我刷了票卡,我的手旋轉鐵支入口,但我的人卻没進入,旋轉鐵支只容轉一次就停,結果我又不能再連續刷票卡,朋友Y在我後面,我問她,我们倆人可不可以一起進入?她說,若被捉到就不好!她拿出她的另一張卡代我刷票。我很慚愧!馬來西亞呢?是不是也如那作者文中, ‘...我們則是「假到真時真亦假」,每個人都虛虛實實,整個社會是在「懷疑」的基礎上運作。…記得去羅馬搭乘地鐵時,發現有售票機卻沒有驗票機。當場起了疑惑,到底要如何確認乘客有沒有買票?那這樣地鐵不就鐵定虧錢嘛?這是我們的習慣想法,總是想要替自以為的小聰明或貪小便宜尋求應對之道。對於義大利人而言,我們會問這種問題才奇怪。搭車為啥不買票?乘車怎麼可以不買票呢?兩方想法當下有了差異。…我們的防弊多於興利的觀念,鑽漏洞的念頭竟是文化的一部份。’

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Immigrants squatting on the Earth

纽约这个大城市,什么族群的人都有我的俩位马来西亞藉朋友YAB在纽约住了将近十年,她们各别告诉我她们自己的想法。

Y说,这里很难找到真心的朋友,也许是文化不同...

AB说,我很不喜欢美国,存够钱后搬回马来西亞也好,住中国(丈夫是中国人)任何地方也好,就是不再住美国。这里表面上看起来没有种族问题,其实是有的...

Steve说,我喜欢纽约所有的活动。我和旅遊景区的一些工作人员谈话,他们大多都很友善。我猜因为Steve是白人,他们显得对他较友善?

我问自己,对纽约有何想法?我想我会说,也不是很喜欢,也不是不喜欢,我只是一个過客!

我最近阅马来西亞新闻,有位马来族政治人物发表 华人只是寄居在马来西亚,因此不可能做到各族平等的言论,惹得马来西亞华族们的抗议!

啊种族何必呢?何不和谐共处,我们都不過是地球上的寄居者!

New York is a big city so you can see many races around…. My two Chinese-Malaysian friends, Y and AB, have stayed in New York almost 10 years, and they have their individual thoughts.

Y said, “It is not easy to find a true friend here; perhaps people have different cultures...”

AB said, “I don’t like America. If I had enough money I would move back to Malaysia or China (her husband is from China) or somewhere else, but not here. You think there aren’t racism problems here, but there really are...”

Steve said, “I like all the things to do in New York. I talked with some of the people who work in tourist places; most seemed pretty friendly.” Steve is white, so I think they were friendlier to him?

I asked myself, what do I think about New York? I think I would say, “I neither like nor dislike it. I was a passing traveler!”

Recently, I read an article in the Malaysia news about Chinese-based political parties lodging police complaints. A Malay politician – a relatively unknown division chief - ‘burst into the limelight last week for allegedly describing the (ethnic) Chinese here as immigrants squatting in Malaysia and as such, said they should not expect to be treated equally!’

Ah racism… why? Why not coexist in harmony? We all are just immigrants squatting on the Earth!

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