Emotion ‧ Expectation

星期天的靜坐班后，這次我們討論的課題是“如何運用佛法在生活上” 。回想我過去在職場上，雖然我每天早上在家靜坐后才出門上班，但有時與同事在工作上，會有不高興的情緒出現，搞到我和同事的關係不是很好。究其根源，往往是我想要工作效率、決策、執行等… 這其實是對自己的期待，不僅期待自己工作效率好，也期待同事（或他人）能符合或滿足自己的期待，所以當他人没有達到我想要的（期待）… 負面的情緒就會出現！雖然我知道要接纳、尊重，但情緒往往是捷足先登，騷擾了彼此的關係！

所以我總認為若自己生氣，是因為我的修養還不夠好。

佛法的苦、空、無我，我還未悟！

We had a discussion topic about ‘How to practice Buddhism in our life’ after our Sunday meditation class. I recalled back to my previous working days. Even though I meditated every morning before I went to work, sometimes I got bad emotions when dealing with colleagues. So I didn’t have good relationships with my colleagues when the negative emotions came. To trace the source, mostly I wanted to work efficiently, make decisions, execute, and etc…. In fact, these are my expectations, and I not only expected work efficiency from myself, but also expected colleagues (or others) to fulfill my expectations too. If other people couldn’t make or satisfy what I want (expectations)… my negative emotions would come up! Although I understand about acceptance and respect, the emotions always come up fast and harass our relationship!

Thus, I always believe that if I get mad, it is because I haven’t cultivated myself well enough yet.

The suffering, emptiness and no self in Buddhism, I have yet to ‘awaken’ to these.