Thursday, June 12, 2008

Emotion ‧ Expectation

星期天的靜坐班后,這次我們討論的課題是如何運用佛法在生活上 。回想我過去在職場上,雖然我每天早上在家靜坐后才出門上班,但有時與同事在工作上,會有不高興的情緒出現,搞到我和同事的關係不是很好。究其根源,往往是我想要工作效率、決策、執行等這其實是對自己的期待,不僅期待自己工作效率好,也期待同事(或他人)能符合或滿足自己的期待,所以當他人没有達到我想要的(期待)負面的情緒就會出現!雖然我知道要接纳、尊重,但情緒往往是捷足先登,騷擾了彼此的關係!



We had a discussion topic about ‘How to practice Buddhism in our life’ after our Sunday meditation class. I recalled back to my previous working days. Even though I meditated every morning before I went to work, sometimes I got bad emotions when dealing with colleagues. So I didn’t have good relationships with my colleagues when the negative emotions came. To trace the source, mostly I wanted to work efficiently, make decisions, execute, and etc…. In fact, these are my expectations, and I not only expected work efficiency from myself, but also expected colleagues (or others) to fulfill my expectations too. If other people couldn’t make or satisfy what I want (expectations)… my negative emotions would come up! Although I understand about acceptance and respect, the emotions always come up fast and harass our relationship!

Thus, I always believe that if I get mad, it is because I haven’t cultivated myself well enough yet.

The suffering, emptiness and no self in Buddhism, I have yet to ‘awaken’ to these.

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