We had a discussion topic about ‘How to practice Buddhism in our life’ after our Sunday meditation class. I recalled back to my previous working days. Even though I meditated every morning before I went to work, sometimes I got bad emotions when dealing with colleagues. So I didn’t have good relationships with my colleagues when the negative emotions came. To trace the source, mostly I wanted to work efficiently, make decisions, execute, and etc…. In fact, these are my expectations, and I not only expected work efficiency from myself, but also expected colleagues (or others) to fulfill my expectations too. If other people couldn’t make or satisfy what I want (expectations)… my negative emotions would come up! Although I understand about acceptance and respect, the emotions always come up fast and harass our relationship!
Thus, I always believe that if I get mad, it is because I haven’t cultivated myself well enough yet.
The suffering, emptiness and no self in Buddhism, I have yet to ‘awaken’ to these.