以前我常去聽佛法、看佛書，我覺得佛法在講四聖谛﹕苦、集、滅、道及等等時，的確能夠使我信服，但我只吸收到那是非常＇佛理＇的（可能我对佛法的認識只是冰山一角）。比如一個佛理的例子﹕有一人中箭后，最警急的是趕快救治他，把箭拿出，解决當下的問題，而不是問﹕為何會中箭、何时中箭、何地、何人射箭、什么箭、如何被射等。 自從接触心理輔導當義工后，我變成常去聽社會課題講座、上輔導或自我成長的课程及看輔導書藉。我覺得人面對社會的問題越來越多，心理輔導較注重在觧剖問題，那是實际及非常＇人理＇的。比如上述例子，中箭者被救治后，可能心理的創傷却還未治疗，而產生其它問題（如受害及怨恨、無法寬恕、復仇及自傷或傷人等），那也是需要處理的。輔導就須要问﹕為何會中箭、何时中箭、何地、何人射箭、什么箭或如何被射等… 然后让中箭者看待問題所在，中箭者可以如何解决或處理旧傷所帶來的影响，協助中箭者找出資源重新定位…
雖然我没聽佛法看佛書已很多年，但佛根還是很穩固的！可是我並没深入覺察，其實佛法與当輔導義工是息息相關的…
至到前天聽了永固法師的＇你可以活得更好＇講座… 
比較进一步了解到，觧、行並重的含意。法師說﹕“富貴學道難！…如果你很滿意你現在的人生，請問下世你還要相同一模一样的人生嗎？” 我猜你也是摇頭。“…如果只是理觧佛法，但没有修行，是無法成道的。當義工是最好的修行，人與人的問題最能让你去磨，去修！” 法師原來也有做咨商，她說台北的生命綫（心理輔導熱綫）有時會轉介無法處理的欲自殺個案给她。有一位五十多歲的個案，一位出身是千金小姐，甘願與家人脫离關系，含辛茹苦的與窮丈夫打拼，終於有成就，但現在却發現丈夫有外遇，也有孩子與她的孩子同样年級，意謂丈夫從结婚就背叛她。她自殺多次不死，丈夫認為她在做戲。法師輔導她，從听、分析、觧决方案约四個小時了，她還是说要去死。（我认為這是做輔導避忌的，因為時間太長，雙方都會很累，思考就會遲鈍。）
“那就去死吧！”法師说，“不過在死之前，可不可以帮我一件事？”
“什么事？”
“這理佛寺正要辦七月法會，整個月要供齋，厨房很忙，你能不能來帮忙洗菜切菜一個月，積一點功德后才去死？”
“好吧！”
法師偶爾到厨房觀察她，看她臉上有笑容與其他人談話…
一個月后她來找法師说，“我不想死了！其實想想，我應該感謝那女人，她必須收拾老頭子丟在地上的臭襪…”
以上故事是法師提到＇停止妄念＇时举的例子。我解釋為这個案是從供献行动中，提高了自我价值，而改變受害的觀念。
做輔導通常都是先改變個案的觀念，建立或提高個案自我价值，而會有新的选擇或行动…
我想這两者﹔一个是＇先行后觧＇，一个是＇先觧后行＇… 都可行得通吧！
Previously, I often listened to Dharma talks and read Buddhist books. I believed the truth of Dharma mentioned in the Four Noble Truths of suffering, origin of suffering, cessation of suffering, and the way that leads to the cessation of suffering. I only understood Buddhism on a theoretical level (I might be too narrow in my understanding of the Dharma). As an example, from the Buddha: If someone is hit by an arrow, the most urgent thing is to save him and take out the arrow. The solution is to solve his problem here and now but not to question: Why was he hit by an arrow? When was he hit? Where? Who shot the arrow? What materials is the arrow made of? How was he hit? Etc.
After I joined the counseling training and became a volunteer, I changed, and started to listen to talks about social topics, attended counseling and self-development courses, and read counseling books. I think human beings facing social problems are becoming more and more common, and counseling focuses on ‘operational’ problems; it seemed practical and humanistic. As in the above example: After the person hit by the arrow was safe, he might not be healing the inner hurt and thus create other problems (like feeling victimized and hate, can’t forgive, feel vengeful and hurt himself or others). These feelings need to be healed. So we have to ask questions when in counseling: Why was he hit by an arrow? When was he hit? Where? Who shot the arrow? What materials was the arrow made of? How was he hit? Etc… Then, let him know about his problems, the solutions for those matters that are affected by his previous hurt, and help him to find the resources and make new decisions or have a new mindset…
Even though I stopped listening to Dharma talks and reading Buddhist books for a long time, the Buddhist root is still stable inside! However, I didn’t realize that Dharma and volunteer counseling are actually very closely related…
Then, yesterday, I heard a talk ‘You Could Live Better’ by Venerable Yung Ku… I better understood the meaning of ‘understanding and practicing are both important’. The venerable said, “It is harder for rich people to practice the truth! …if you think your life is satisfying, do you want the same life in your future life?” I guess you also shake your head, no. “…if you just understand Dharma but are not practicing it, you will not get the way of truth. To be a volunteer is the way of practice, because between people there will be many issues to handle and solve!” The venerable also does counseling. She said sometimes a counseling line in Taipei would transfer a client intending to commit suicide to her that they couldn’t handle. One client, over 50, was born in a rich family, but she loved a poor guy. She chose to break the relationship with her family and marry him, and lived a hard life. Finally they were well-off financially. She found out that her husband had a love affair and their kid was a similar age with her kid. It meant her husband had been betraying her since they married. She had tried suicide a few times but lived. Her husband thought it was just a way for her to manipulate him. The venerable spent about four hours counseling her by listening, analyzing and giving solutions. However, she still said she intended to die. (My thoughts are: the counseling session was too long, because both of them will get very tired and can’t think well.)
“In this case, you just go to die!”, the venerable said, “But before you die, could you help me with one thing?”
“What thing?”
“The temple here will be holding ‘the seventh lunar month activity’; the kitchen will get busy because we serve meals every day for a whole month. Could you come to help in the kitchen for a month? You might collect some merit before you die.”
“Okay!”
The venerable passed the kitchen sometimes and saw her chatting with others with a smile on her face…
After a month, she came to see the venerable and said, “I don’t want to attempt suicide again! In fact, I feel grateful to that lady who needs to clean the old guy’s dirty socks thrown on the floor…”
The above story was an example of ‘stopping delusional thought’ told by the venerable. I interpret it: this client began increasing her self-esteem when contributing through her actions, and made her change the victim mentality.
Normally, part of counseling involves changing the client’s thoughts and building or increasing her/his self-esteem, so she/he will make new choices and actions…
I think, ‘practice then understand’ and ‘understand then practice’… both of these ways can work.
