Rewind back Jan 20, 2007

今天让我將時光如倒卷帶般，倒卷回2007年1月20日，地点是檳城…
Steve 昨夜没睡好覺，一直起身看時間，今天是他做新郎的大日子！他很早就起身準備…等待我为他安排的一群朋友到來。择日師提供出門娶新娘的時間是早晨九点，据华人的風俗，一对家長須分左右牽著新郎的手送他出門，Steve 的家人只有姐姐從美国到來參加婚禮，所以就为他安排一对 '家長' 送他出門娶新娘…
我昨夜也没睡好覺，很早起身去化裝，化裝師说我的眼睛很没精神。經她的巧手后…醜人也變美新娘了…
新郎車到新娘家了…響響車笛让迎親气氛热鬧热鬧！新娘家一位男孩開車門歡迎新郎到來，新郎就賞他一個红包。新郎被请坐下后，男孩會给他奉上甜茶，新郎也賞他一個红包。新郎要接見新娘須通過新娘伴们的刃難，不外是要他唱情歌或表示对新娘的爱意等，最終是向他要红包，新娘伴们才罷手让他見新娘。
新郎新娘見面行礼鞠躬，新郎掀開新娘的面紗送上花束，新娘为新郎别上襟花。新人祭拜家神﹔新郎敬茶给祖先、長輩，長輩们回送賀礼﹔后輩向新郎握手見面，新郎给每位红包。禮儀完后，新郎娶新娘回去囉…回想起我们结婚的籌備，一個西方人和一個東方人，那要舉行怎樣的婚礼儀式呢？其實儀式在某些特别的日子，尤其是结婚大日子，儀式对人生含有某种程度的重要意義。Steve 表示他並不介意，任我策划儀式（傳統風俗，华人结婚是由男方安排，但西方人卻相反是由女方安排）。我对於一些华人風俗的禮儀，還是覺得可取的，所以我就策划取一些簡單的华人風俗结婚的禮儀，接著到我服務義工的檀香寺，唯悟法師为我们舉行佛化儀式（Steve 未認識我前已接触佛教也在结婚前皈依佛教），最后是自由素餐宴及一些欢樂節目。

Today let me rewind back in time like a recorder. Back to Jan 20, 2007 in Penang…

Steve didn’t have a good sleep last night; he often woke up to check the time. Today is his big day being a bridegroom! He woke up early and dressed up…waiting for my friends who I arranged to meet him. 9 am is the time to go out to the wedding according to the astrologer. As is the custom of Chinese people, a couple of parents or elders, one will stand on his left and one at his right, lead him out from the house. Since his sister came alone from the US, I arranged a couple to be his ‘parents’ leading him to go to the wedding…

I also didn’t have a good sleep last night. I woke up early and went to make-up. The beautician said my eyes looked tired. Using her expert hands…an ugly lady becomes a pretty bride…

The bridal cars are coming to the bride’s house…they honk the horns loudly to make noise! A boy from the bride’s family will open the car door to greet the bridegroom, and the bridegroom will give him an ‘Ang Pow’ (red packet with cash). After the bridegroom has a seat, a boy will greet him with a cup of sweet tea, and the bridegroom will give him an ‘Ang Pow’ too. After that, when the bridegroom wants to meet and marry his bride, the bridesmaids will present challenges to him. They want him to sing love songs or show something about why he loves his bride, and their main purpose is to finally get ‘Ang Pow’. Then they let him come in.

The new couple meets and bows to each other, and the bridegroom gives a bouquet to the bride and raises her veil. The bride gives a flower to the bridegroom and pins it on his lapel. The new couple prays to the family gods. Then the bridegroom shows respect to all the bride’s elder family members with a cup of tea. The elders will return to him a gift or ‘Ang Pow’. After that, the younger of the bride’s siblings will meet and shake-hands with the bridegroom and the bridegroom will give each of them an ‘Ang Pow’. After all this ceremony, the bridegroom can bring the bride back to his home…

When I recalled back to the planning for our wedding - one is westerner and one is easterner, which kind of wedding ceremony will be held? In fact, a ceremony is an important and meaningful part of life for those special days, especially a wedding day. Steve didn’t care which ceremony we had, so he let me plan it. (Normally, in Chinese culture, the bridegroom and his family plan the wedding, but the reverse is true in Western culture.) I like some of the Chinese cultures and customs which are precious. Thus, I planned a simple Chinese wedding ceremony. Then we had a Buddhist wedding ceremony (Steve was approaching Buddhism before he met me and he converted to Buddhist before the wedding) held by Ven. Wei Wu in Than Hsiang Temple, where I served as a volunteer. Lastly, we had a reception with a vegetarian buffet and games for fun.