Marriage

有些結了婚的人會說，婚姻須要夫妻一起去經營，要怎樣經營呢？學校有教我們嗎？父母有教我們嗎？噢…也許有婚姻講座、書藉囉… 但那些講師講歸講、寫作者寫歸寫，如: ‘互相尊重、互相支持、如何溝通、愛是從不要求、無條件的愛等等…’ 他們說起來很容易、簡單！為什麼當我們真正進入婚姻時，原來做起來，卻不是那麼的容易、簡單！

我認為很小的事要 Steve 做，有時他會給一些藉口不做…

我的習慣是每天起床，有時間一定整理床鋪，Steve 說每天都要睡的，何必須要整理，不過從我與他在一起後，誰遲起床誰就整理床鋪…

我會定時收拾，如我的文件都会歸类存檔。Steve 的文件從一小堆漸漸變一大堆…

我認為可即時處理的，我都馬上要去處理。比如睡房的厨具，我住进來，Steve 就說要買新的，我們去逛了幾家傢俬店，但至到現在我們還没有新的厨具。我想 Steve 認為可以拖的就拖，但我不知道他會拖到多久…

其實我並不是意謂誰好誰不好，Steve 是一个很好的老公。我只是想說我們的不同點，也想說，只有自己體會，才能知道要經營婚姻是很不容易、簡單的，但請千萬不要成為像蘇格拉底般的＇哲學家＇！

“不管怎樣還是要結婚; 如你娶到一位好妻子，你會很幸福; 如你娶到一位不好的，你會成為一位哲學家。” ～蘇格拉底（我翻譯自英文）

Some married people might say that marriage needs the couple working together. How do we do this? Do schools teach us? Do parents teach us? Oh…maybe seminars and books about marriage… However, the speaker is just talking and the author is just writing about topics like: respecting each other, supporting each other, how to communicate, love is not expectation, unconditional love, etc…’ They make it sound so easy and simple when they talk about it, but how come while we are married, it is not so easy and simple to do!

Sometimes I think something is a small issue and want Steve to do it, but he will give excuses and doesn’t want to do it…

My habit is, if I have time I will make the bed every morning after I woke up. Steve said why make the bed as I will sleep on it every day. After I was with him here, the one who wakes up later will make the bed…

I will arrange time for organizing things frequently, like documents for filing in separate folders. Steve has many small piles of documents but they are becoming big piles gradually.

I think if a matter can be settled, I would do it promptly. An example is the dresser in the bedroom. Steve mentioned he wanted to have a new one since I moved in. We have been looking for one in a couple of furniture shops, but until now, we still haven’t bought a new dresser yet. I thought Steve would think if the matters could be delayed then just delay them. However, I don’t know how long he would delay them…

In fact, I do not mean who is good or who is not good. Steve is a very good husband. I just want to tell our differences, and also want to say: you will only realize and understand that marriage is not so easy and simple as they make it sound. However, please don’t become a ‘philosopher’ like Socrates!

“By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.” ~Socrates