Chinese New Year is coming soon

前天我收到 CS寄來新年e卡及几個纲頁，我一打開那纲頁，即听到一些欢慶的新年歌，真是让我很驚喜。在这里我根本還没感覺一絲华人新年的氣息… 啊！現在听着新年歌，那种心情真的是不一樣。

http://www.56.com/u58/v_Mjc3NjM3ODM.html

http://www.56.com/u54/v_Mjc3MDY3NTU.html

http://www.56.com/u25/v_Mjc1NjQ1MTg.html

http://www.56.com/u12/v_MjYzNjg4NDk.html

http://www.56.com/u39/v_MjUwNjcwOTI.htm

在馬來西亞，檳城州是最有华人農歷新年的氣氛，商家於聖誕節后都開始張掛华人新年的裝飾，播放新年歌…

我向 Steve 解釋说，“华人過新年為期十五天（初一至十五日），大多數人第一天都要穿新衣，我们也得趕快去買至少一套的新衣！”

雖然美國到马來西亞的机票很貴约US$1600每位，但我们今年已決定在华人新年期间回去檳城與親朋戚友見面慶祝，最重要的是我一想到可以再吃檳城的食物，我就很高兴！哈哈…

檳城的朋友们，要不要見見面呢？

Two days ago, I received a Chinese New Year (CNY) e-card and a few links from a friend, CS. When I clicked the links, I felt surprised by these CNY songs. Here, I didn’t feel any spirit or flavor that CNY is coming soon… Ah! Now, my mood is different when I listen to the CNY songs.

Penang is a place that has the liveliest Chinese New Year atmosphere in Malaysia. After Christmas, the shops will decorate for the Chinese New Year festival and play Chinese New Year songs…

I was explaining to Steve, “Chinese celebrate 15 days, from the 1^st until the 15^th day of the first lunar month (this year it starts on Feb 7.) Most Chinese wear new clothes on the first day. We shall go to buy at least one new suit of clothes soon!”

Even though the air ticket from the USA to Malaysia is expensive, about US$1600, we decided to go back to Penang during CNY to see my family and friends. The important thing is I feel so happy when I know I can have Penang food again! Ha-ha…

My dear friends in Penang, would you like to meet with me?

Strange & silly English words

中國或台灣人講華語…都喜歡在句子后加上尾音，如咧、嘛、耶、呀等。馬來西亞華人講話，对白中，往往會用幾種語言 – 華、英、巫參雜，而且句子后也是加上華、巫合并的尾音，如 leh, mah, loh, lah 等。这些尾音，它本身並没有任何含意，但它會讓那句语气比較不那么生硬。

Steve 在檳城和我的朋友一起时，虽然我們用英語交談，Steve 也未必听懂我和朋友们所有談话的內容！

我會視我講話的对象而＇入鄉隨俗＇，用对方講話的＇習俗＇交談… 所以如果你不是馬来西亞读者，看到我的 blog 出現怪怪的英语，请你見怪莫怪！

“不啦.” 即是, “不.”

When Chinese or Taiwanese speak Chinese (Mandarin), normally they like to add a sound at the end of sentence like ‘lie’, ‘ma’, ‘ye’, ‘ya’, etc. In Chinese-Malaysian speaking, the conversations often mix a few languages – Chinese, English and Malay, and they add sounds at the ends of sentences that are a mix of Chinese and Malay, like ‘leh’, ‘mah’, ‘loh’, ‘lah’, etc. These words/sounds at the ends of sentences might not have any meaning, but it adds a little bit of softness or emphasis to the sentence in casual conversation.

When Steve was in Penang, even when my friends and I spoke English he couldn’t get 100% of the content of our conversation!

I would ‘observe the person’s customs’ who is talking to me and I respond as their ‘custom’… Thus, if you are not a Malaysian reader, I hope you will not take any offense at some of the ‘strange and silly’ English words in my blog!

“No lah.” means “No.”

Life balancing

(Photos taken in Penang)

I think in life, it is not enough to only have optimistic thoughts. Even though I didn’t have so much career ambition in my last job, I was still responsible in my work and did it well. Besides working, I used my free time to join in the community: learning to help others as a volunteer, uplifting myself, and returning to serve society. I also enjoy doing some of my hobbies and other activities. Life needs to have a few elements, like family, friends, health, work, hobbies, things to learn, community activities, etc.; don’t focus only on one or two elements. Life needs to have more balance, so that the mind and body will be healthy. This is my personal sharing.

Someone might say that if you stay in a comfort zone too long you will not have a breakthrough, unless you are stimulated by something. It’s like, if you sit on a chair, and suddenly that chair caught fire and heated up your butt, only then would you be jumping up!

Tired of work

(Photo taken in Penang)

When I heard that SL resigned her job, which she had been working several years, I was concerned about her and asked:

“…what happened?” “No lah, I need rest.”

“Why do you think that?” “I have been working for 12 years already, so rest loh, haaaaaaa.”

“I don’t believe la…I’m sure you have something.” “No lah, really, there is an inner voice asking for rest.”

I thought there must be something making her feel ‘tired’ … I think she was so brave to make the decision to resign the job without having a new plan, bravo!

I remember when I was staff at my ex-company; I needed to go to work on time but didn’t always get off on time. My work was routine but unexpected problems would come up. I was in the sourcing (purchasing) department and the company targeted products with good quality and the cheapest cost. So, as employees working for the company, we had to try to negotiate every single cent with vendors. Nevertheless, the top management thought you were supposed to put in this effort for the company. The company thought highly of the sales/marketing department. They have good results when the products have good response/sales. But if the products have problems, the top management will point to the sourcing department that made the company lose money. I had worked for 12 years and was never promoted. 1 or 2 years there were no raises, and sometimes the raises were about 5% averages. However, when I faced the difficulties of work and felt tired, I also needed to be strong or optimistic and think I’m not so bad off compared to others. Then I should be grateful and continue working again! At that time, I really wished that I had enough money to live, so that I can retire after 40 something.

Seems like my wish has come true, but not because I have enough money!

Tax

又是一年一度要呈報所得稅的时侯了，Steve 很不高兴因为这里的付稅率很高，還好今年起可以加入妻子為依屬者。其實在这里生活，無时無刻都須付稅如果你买了一項有收据的東西。每家商店内的貨品或餐馆所標示的价錢不是淨价，你付款时會視你所購買的標价再加銷售稅，不同的貨品有不同的銷售稅率。

如果没有錯的话，马來西亞的所有貨品銷售稅是 10%，而其制度是批發商家向工廠購買貨品的發票上都须付銷售稅 10%或付銷售稅给海關如商家自己进口貨品。在马來西亞，你到商店購買物品（除了酒店房及一些餐馆），你只須付所示的標价。其實这樣的制度…是不是可能會让不少的商家用一些管道討稅？听起來马來西亞的消費者似乎比較划算，但我想，羊毛出在羊身上…而且往往一些貨品的漲价率，真的是天差地别，假设及比如估計﹕麵粉廠家说通貨膨脹要给工人起薪，就起价一公斤麵粉约 5% 吧﹔麵條商家说汽油食油都漲价，就起价一公斤麵條约 8% 吧﹔小販说什么東西都漲价，就起价一碗福建蝦麵（若從 RM2.50 起价至RM2.80）约 12% 吧… 嗯！如果你是打工仔，你的老板又没起或只加少過 10% 的薪水的话，吃着福建麵的你，只能花錢又不能起＇米田共＇的价！

每一個做生意的人都不會想業績下降，而是精打細算每年要賺钱，那到底誰會吃虧呢？是不是就是所謂…有錢人越賺越多钱，貧窮的消費者就更加窮了？

It is time to submit annual income tax again. Steve always hates to do this because the tax rate is high. However, from this time onwards he can add his wife as a dependent. In fact, living here you also always pay tax if you buy a thing with a receipt. The price tag of products in every shop is just a gross price; you have to pay sales tax on it. And different kinds of product will have different tax rates.

If I am not wrong, the sales tax in Malaysia is 10% for all products, and the system is that the distributor needs to pay 10% sales tax mentioned in invoice of the product they bought from a manufacturer, or pay sales tax to Customs if they import it themselves. So in Malaysia, when you go to a shop to buy something (except hotels and some restaurants), you only pay the price that shown on the tag. In fact, this system…did it create some distributors trying to use a ‘dirty’ method to avoid paying tax? It sounds like consumers in Malaysia are better off and not much paying tax, but I don’t think so… Some products’ prices increase by a much different percentage. For an example and estimation: A flour manufacturer says they need to increase employees’ salary due to currency inflation, so they increase the price about 5% per kilo of flour. The noodles supplier said transport’s gas and cooking oil both increased too, so they increase the price about 8% per kilo of noodles. The hawker says all things increased too, so they increase the price about 12% (if the price is from RM2.50 to RM2.80) on a bowl of ‘Hokkien Mee’ (prawn noodles)… Hmm! If you are an employee and your employer didn’t increase your salary or just increased your salary less than 10%, then when you eat a bowl of ‘Hokkien Mee’, you have to pay the increased price, but you can’t increase your poop’s price!

Every business owner doesn’t want their business results going down, but they calculate very carefully their earnings every year. Thus, who will become the loser? Does it mean that…the rich become richer, and the poor consumers become poorer?

Comedy movies

Sometimes, I don’t like watching ‘nonsense’ comedians, like Stephen Chow’s movies. Once, after Steve purchased online one of his DVDs, ‘Kung Fu Hustle’, I mentioned that his movies are not worth watching. Steve said “why not?” He likes comedy movies, as they are entertaining and funny, without having to think too much. It is relaxing. I think it is true also, but I prefer comedies and meaningful movies like Michael Hui with his brothers’ films in the 70s-80s. Some of the pictures reflected social phenomena that led up to meaningful afterthoughts!

Rewind back Jan 20, 2007

今天让我將時光如倒卷帶般，倒卷回2007年1月20日，地点是檳城…
Steve 昨夜没睡好覺，一直起身看時間，今天是他做新郎的大日子！他很早就起身準備…等待我为他安排的一群朋友到來。择日師提供出門娶新娘的時間是早晨九点，据华人的風俗，一对家長須分左右牽著新郎的手送他出門，Steve 的家人只有姐姐從美国到來參加婚禮，所以就为他安排一对 '家長' 送他出門娶新娘…
我昨夜也没睡好覺，很早起身去化裝，化裝師说我的眼睛很没精神。經她的巧手后…醜人也變美新娘了…
新郎車到新娘家了…響響車笛让迎親气氛热鬧热鬧！新娘家一位男孩開車門歡迎新郎到來，新郎就賞他一個红包。新郎被请坐下后，男孩會给他奉上甜茶，新郎也賞他一個红包。新郎要接見新娘須通過新娘伴们的刃難，不外是要他唱情歌或表示对新娘的爱意等，最終是向他要红包，新娘伴们才罷手让他見新娘。
新郎新娘見面行礼鞠躬，新郎掀開新娘的面紗送上花束，新娘为新郎别上襟花。新人祭拜家神﹔新郎敬茶给祖先、長輩，長輩们回送賀礼﹔后輩向新郎握手見面，新郎给每位红包。禮儀完后，新郎娶新娘回去囉…回想起我们结婚的籌備，一個西方人和一個東方人，那要舉行怎樣的婚礼儀式呢？其實儀式在某些特别的日子，尤其是结婚大日子，儀式对人生含有某种程度的重要意義。Steve 表示他並不介意，任我策划儀式（傳統風俗，华人结婚是由男方安排，但西方人卻相反是由女方安排）。我对於一些华人風俗的禮儀，還是覺得可取的，所以我就策划取一些簡單的华人風俗结婚的禮儀，接著到我服務義工的檀香寺，唯悟法師为我们舉行佛化儀式（Steve 未認識我前已接触佛教也在结婚前皈依佛教），最后是自由素餐宴及一些欢樂節目。

Today let me rewind back in time like a recorder. Back to Jan 20, 2007 in Penang…

Steve didn’t have a good sleep last night; he often woke up to check the time. Today is his big day being a bridegroom! He woke up early and dressed up…waiting for my friends who I arranged to meet him. 9 am is the time to go out to the wedding according to the astrologer. As is the custom of Chinese people, a couple of parents or elders, one will stand on his left and one at his right, lead him out from the house. Since his sister came alone from the US, I arranged a couple to be his ‘parents’ leading him to go to the wedding…

I also didn’t have a good sleep last night. I woke up early and went to make-up. The beautician said my eyes looked tired. Using her expert hands…an ugly lady becomes a pretty bride…

The bridal cars are coming to the bride’s house…they honk the horns loudly to make noise! A boy from the bride’s family will open the car door to greet the bridegroom, and the bridegroom will give him an ‘Ang Pow’ (red packet with cash). After the bridegroom has a seat, a boy will greet him with a cup of sweet tea, and the bridegroom will give him an ‘Ang Pow’ too. After that, when the bridegroom wants to meet and marry his bride, the bridesmaids will present challenges to him. They want him to sing love songs or show something about why he loves his bride, and their main purpose is to finally get ‘Ang Pow’. Then they let him come in.

The new couple meets and bows to each other, and the bridegroom gives a bouquet to the bride and raises her veil. The bride gives a flower to the bridegroom and pins it on his lapel. The new couple prays to the family gods. Then the bridegroom shows respect to all the bride’s elder family members with a cup of tea. The elders will return to him a gift or ‘Ang Pow’. After that, the younger of the bride’s siblings will meet and shake-hands with the bridegroom and the bridegroom will give each of them an ‘Ang Pow’. After all this ceremony, the bridegroom can bring the bride back to his home…

When I recalled back to the planning for our wedding - one is westerner and one is easterner, which kind of wedding ceremony will be held? In fact, a ceremony is an important and meaningful part of life for those special days, especially a wedding day. Steve didn’t care which ceremony we had, so he let me plan it. (Normally, in Chinese culture, the bridegroom and his family plan the wedding, but the reverse is true in Western culture.) I like some of the Chinese cultures and customs which are precious. Thus, I planned a simple Chinese wedding ceremony. Then we had a Buddhist wedding ceremony (Steve was approaching Buddhism before he met me and he converted to Buddhist before the wedding) held by Ven. Wei Wu in Than Hsiang Temple, where I served as a volunteer. Lastly, we had a reception with a vegetarian buffet and games for fun.

An anniversary

日子很快，我们结婚已是一週年，很感謝 Steve 媽媽的慈爱寄賀卡及賀禮给我们！
这些日子…從我的摸索中，我认為夫妻的关系，不僅僅是丈夫和太太互相支持信任的角色…
偶爾我会撒娇就像女兒要爸爸关注、
有时我会唠叨就像妈妈气兒子叛逆、
偶爾我会服從就像妹妹被哥哥指引、
有时我会慈祥就像姐姐给弟弟爱护、
偶爾我会學習就像学生听老師教导、
有时我会赞赏就像師父盼弟子进步、
偶爾我会傾听就像红顏待知己真诚、
有时我会暢叙就像良朋对益友抒怀、
偶爾我会偷懒就像伙计趁老闆不在、
有时我会命令就像上司叫下屬做工…

Time is flying. We just had our first wedding anniversary. We appreciated mom’s kindness; she sent us a card and gift!

During these days, I am groping, thinking about the relationship between a married couple. Besides trust and support from each other, the roles of husband and wife need to be…

Occasionally, I would be pettish like a daughter wanting attention from her dad.

Sometimes, I would chatter like a mom scolding behavior of her son.

Occasionally, I would behave like a girl following guidance from her brother.

Sometimes, I would be kind like a sister taking care of her sibling.

Occasionally, I would learn like a student studying lessons from a teacher.

Sometimes, I would encourage like a master wishing improvement of a disciple.

Occasionally, I would listen like a soul-mate dealing sincerely with a partner.

Sometimes, I would talk like a friend conveying emotions to a pal.

Occasionally, I would relax like an employee being unnoticed by an employer.

Sometimes, I would order like a boss giving instructions to a subordinate…

Money & Happy

I was chatting online with a friend’s friend, who is Chinese married to an American. She asked:

“…plan to have a baby yet?” (A classic question after you get married!)

“Oh…no.”

“Why not?” (A classic doubt!)

“I don’t want a baby.”

“Any reasons? Because I am debating and discussing with my hubby on having or not having a baby.” (A classic thought to have a reference!)

“Hmm...I asked myself: First, will I be able to make my kid happy? Second, why do I need a kid?”

“Never a need; kids are darned expensive.” (Sounds likes she didn’t understand what I meant!)

“Money is the last consideration for me.”

“Money is one of my considerations.”

“Money = happy. But happiness does not need a lot of money.”

“I don’t need a lot of money; I just need some money…enough money.”

“How can you tell how much is enough?” (A classic counseling question to get a specific answer! Ha-ha, my ‘counseling skill’ showed up…)

“I could get my dream house and dream car, not too much d~ my dream stuff is not expensive, a house of 3000-4000 sq. ft. and a Lexus. That’s all I want.”

“You mean after you get your dream stuff then you would consider having a baby?” (Question to let her clarify what she said!)

“Not sure.... I am not sure what the sequence is.”

“Sounds like you still don't know your answer...” (Do paraphrasing!)

“I don’t know --- really.”

“Why do you need to wait until you have enough money?” (Try another question to explore it.)

“If don’t have enough money; how to buy diapers and formula? ‘Being nasty’.... simply want to buy stuff for babies....”

“I don't understand. You don't have enough money to have a baby?” (Try another question again to explore it.)

“I’m … sorry for the confusion.”

I didn’t continue our chat…because it’s time for me to cook my lunch. After lunch, we made ‘bak hu’ again until evening. When I sat down, the TV show ‘20/20’ came on, and the topic was about Happiness! Do you know which country’s people are happiest? From their report, #1 is Denmark!

Sand Art

沙在说故事 ~ ILANA YAHAV藝術性的呈獻
Sand is telling a story ~ SandArtist, ILANA YAHAV

Teochew Ku Chai Kueh (veggie dumplings)

潮州人最出名的其中一項美食是菜粿，我是潮州人，尤其喜歡吃菲菜粿。我的倆位姐姐傳承母親的手藝都能做出很好吃的菜粿，只有不喜歡煮食的我從未學做過…
來到這裡，想吃什麼就動手做吧！先準備餡料…不大能知道應配材料的量，蝦米似乎太多了，炒出來的餡料味香熏滿整屋。
接著是將澄麵粉及薯粉攪拌做外皮… 生手就是生手，没有經驗，粉團是須要揉久一點才能均勻的，而我做出來的菜粿皮像 'mo ben'，也不會捏出好看的菜粿款… 所以第一批蒸爐的菜粿見不得人，第二批的免強上鏡…大小各異形狀！

I am ‘Teochew’ – a district in China my family came from. One of the popular, delicious ‘Teochew’ foods is ‘chai kueh’ (veggie dumplings) and I like ‘ku chai kueh’ (with chives) very much. My two sisters learned to make delicious ‘chai kueh’ from our mom; only I didn’t like to cook and never learned how to do it…

Now I am here, so if I miss the food I have to make it myself! At first, I prepared the filling…I was not sure of the ingredient amounts and it looked like there was already too much dried shrimp. When I fried the filling, the smell filled the house and it was so good.

After that, I made the wrappers with wheat starch and potato starch… I am not experienced and a new learner, and didn’t know the dough had to be kneaded a long time to become smooth. That’s why my ‘chai kueh’ wrappers looked ‘ugly’. And I don’t know how to pinch the dumplings into a nice shape…so the first batch of ‘chai kueh’ turned out sad, and I just tried to show off the second batch…they are all different shapes and sizes!

Unconditional Love

'爱在天堂' 的 blog 写了一篇﹕爱的关系。我给他留言﹕
“通常（也许）关系出現问題或有冲突，是因為爱有期待，期待对方相应的回饋…
能夠…無条件的爱…的人不多！”
他回应﹕
“其实我有点好奇﹕那些能够付出无条件的爱的人，到底是怎么做到的？他们的原生家庭又是如何影响他们的？抑或这只是他们本身的 born temperament（气質）或累世的修行修来的？”
我又留言﹕
“一位我只能從佛書知曉的佛陀，对世间有情的慈爱...
一位我只能從報导认识的 Mother Teresa，对贫病苦者的关爱…
一位我接触過的及阅读他書藉的台湾曾昭旭教授兼作家，对两性爱情的剖析... 我推薦阅读他的其中一本著作＜永遠的浪漫爱＞。”
不过我给自己補充，我還是要说﹕要做到…無条件的爱…確是不那么的容易、簡單！我还在学习中…

‘爱在天堂’, A friend posted in his blog on the subject: Love Relationship. I commented in his blog:

“Normally (Perhaps), if a relationship is having a problem or conflict, it is because love is conditional; you expect a return or feedback from your loved one…

Not many people…are able to…love unconditionally!

He replied:

“In fact, I wonder: of those who are able to love unconditionally, how could they do it? How has their nuclear family influenced them? Or is that their born (natural) temperament or merits from several past lives?”

I commented again:

“I can only know Buddha from Buddhist books; a person who loves all life on earth with compassion…

I can only know Mother Teresa from media; a person who loved poor and sick patients with care…

I met Dr Tseng and read some of his books. He is a professor and author from Taiwan; a person who is an expert about love relationships… I recommend you read one of his books ＜永遠的浪漫爱＞ (in Chinese).”

However, I would add another sentence for myself. I still want to say: It is not easy or simple…being able to…love unconditionally! I am still learning…

House utilities

我察觉到我们地区，左鄰右舍的房屋设计，没有一间是相同的，不过每家都是有一个地下室，它的深度就像一层屋室，那些小窗是地下室的高窗。我们的地下室是放洗衣机、干燥机、冷／暖气装置及雜物等…
我们很少看到有人在屋外晒衣物，即使是夏天，干燥机就是用來代替陽光。热水、冷／暖气是用煤气，所以除了須给电、水、排污、电话费之外，还有煤气和垃圾費。冬天房屋需要暖气…这些月份的煤气费就比較高！
居住马来西亞者須给电、水、排污、电话费﹔大多数人是購桶装煤气煮食﹔而槟島居民多住於 '高楼' 式的公寓，所以每月須交管理维修费。

I noticed that almost every house here is a different design, as I have not found the same one in our neighborhood. Nevertheless, most houses here have a basement and it is about a level deep. Those little windows are on the top of the wall in the basement. Our basement has a laundry, drier, hot water heater, air-conditioner/furnace installation and other things…

We rarely see people hanging clothes for sunshine, but use a drier instead of sunshine, even in the summer. Our hot water and house furnace use natural gas, so the utilities – besides electric, water, sewer, and phone– are gas and trash pickup. In winter, the house has to be heated…these months the gas bills are higher!

In Malaysia, people only need to pay for electric, water, sewer, and phone, but most people also buy gas in a tank for cooking. On Penang Island, many people live in tall buildings like apartments or condominiums, so the residents need to pay for maintenance and management every month.

Edition on Jan 12.

Language = Empty sound

很多年前我曾听過一位法師的讲座，有一句话让我印象深刻，“…语言只是一种空洞的声音…” 嗯…听起來很深奧！我沉思后，也就意会其道理。

比如我对某人说，“ma ni hao…” 这句声音傳入听者的耳内，进入大腦辨识… 各别的听者有各别的国家、群落、言语、文化、背景、經驗、价值观／概念化等… “ma ni hao” 这句话对各别的听者就可能会有不同的诠释！

虽然语言只是一种空洞的声音，不过我认为说者还是要对其所说的语言负责，避免用语言來做人身攻击。

最近我回复其中一位匿名者在 '两层的门' 的留言: “…很可惜的，如我的文字让你不悅。” 其实我这一句也想意谓，如果某事困扰你，不是那件事有问題而是你有问題！

读者给我的 blog 留言的不多，对我來说，我对每则留言都很感激。但有一些是匿名者，嗨…不要让我如在玩 '我猜 我猜 我猜猜猜' 的遊戏啦！猜中却没有奖，哈哈…

I listened to a Venerable talk several years ago, and a sentence impressed me. “…language is just a kind of empty sound…” Hmm…it sounds profound! I understood the truth of it after I thought about it.

For example, if I said to someone, “Ma ni hao…” this sound goes into the listeners’ ears and through their brain to identify… People of different of nationalities, communities, languages, cultures, backgrounds, experiences, conceptualizations, etc…will get different interpretations for “ma ni hao”!

Even though language is just a kind of empty sound, I think the one speaks needs to be responsible for his/her words. Please avoid using language to make personal attacks.

I replied to an anonymous comment to the post ‘Two layers of door’: ‘…sorry if my writing annoys you.” In fact, this also can mean that if something annoys you, it is not that thing that has a problem, but you!

My blog doesn’t get many readers’ comments, but for me, I appreciate every single comment. However, few of them are ‘anonymous’. Hey, don’t let me play a game like the Taiwanese game show ‘I guess I guess I guess guess guess’! I don’t get any prize even if I am right, ha-ha…

Water

“I want water.” I answered when I was in Steve’s family’s house and they asked what I wanted to drink. They turned on the water pipe in the kitchen and filled a glass of water for me. The first time, I felt surprised and not sure whether to drink it or not. Here, the water supply should be okay to drink, as they drink water from the pipe. And all the water pipes have cold and hot water, and few people put a water filter on it.

When I was growing up in Malaysia, almost every family had a water filter or boiled water before drinking. Sometimes, the water from the pipes is yellowish in color, like dirt, at my Penang house. So, one of the first things I did when I came here was to find a pot to boil water… At that time, I didn’t know people here commonly drink water filled from the pipe. Since it was a habit, I drink boiled water, thinking that it might be safer after the germs are killed while boiling. So I still boil my water everyday.

Steve still has his refrigerated water, even in winter!

Homemade Wonton and Siew Mai

在茶樓吃点心，通常我会要 '燒买'，我很小就喜欢吃燒买。我從纲上找到做燒买的 recipe，告诉 Steve 说我要买 '雲吞' 皮。Steve 從纲上找到做雲吞皮的 recipe，他买了所需的材料就做起雲吞皮和麵条（相同的材料）…

哈哈…我就做雲吞和燒买的馅料，小碗的是供雲吞﹔大碗的是供燒买。我先包雲吞或水餃，煮雲吞麵当午餐。Steve 不喜欢吃雲吞（或燒买），而我们做的麵及雲吞或水餃约两人的份量，所以我两天的午餐是吃雲吞麵…

吃飽了，我就开始做燒买，其实雲吞和燒买的材料有点相似… 雲吞是可煮湯或油炸﹔燒买是蒸熟熱吃。

Since I was young I’ve liked eating ‘siew mai’ and I like to pick ‘siew mai’ in restaurants if they have ‘dim sum’. I found a recipe on the web to make ‘siew mai’, so I told Steve I need to buy ‘wonton’ wrappers. Steve found a recipe on the web to make ‘wonton’ wrappers, so he bought the ingredients and made ‘wonton’ wrappers and ‘wonton’ noodles (same ingredients)…

Haha…I could make the filling for ‘wonton’ and ‘siew mai’. The filling in the small bowl is for ‘wonton’; the filling in the big bowl is for ‘siew mai’. Then I wrapped the ‘wonton’ or ‘sui kow’ and cooked ‘wonton’ noodles for my lunch. Steve doesn’t care much for ‘wonton’ (or ‘siew mai’). We made enough noodles and ‘wonton’ or ‘sui kow’ to serve about two persons, so I have enough ‘wonton’ noodles for two lunches.

After lunch, I started to make ‘siew mai’. In fact, the ingredients in ‘wonton’ and ‘siew mai’ are close… ‘Wonton’ can be deep fried or boiled and served in soup; ‘siew mai’ is steamed and served.

Marriage

有些結了婚的人會說，婚姻須要夫妻一起去經營，要怎樣經營呢？學校有教我們嗎？父母有教我們嗎？噢…也許有婚姻講座、書藉囉… 但那些講師講歸講、寫作者寫歸寫，如: ‘互相尊重、互相支持、如何溝通、愛是從不要求、無條件的愛等等…’ 他們說起來很容易、簡單！為什麼當我們真正進入婚姻時，原來做起來，卻不是那麼的容易、簡單！

我認為很小的事要 Steve 做，有時他會給一些藉口不做…

我的習慣是每天起床，有時間一定整理床鋪，Steve 說每天都要睡的，何必須要整理，不過從我與他在一起後，誰遲起床誰就整理床鋪…

我會定時收拾，如我的文件都会歸类存檔。Steve 的文件從一小堆漸漸變一大堆…

我認為可即時處理的，我都馬上要去處理。比如睡房的厨具，我住进來，Steve 就說要買新的，我們去逛了幾家傢俬店，但至到現在我們還没有新的厨具。我想 Steve 認為可以拖的就拖，但我不知道他會拖到多久…

其實我並不是意謂誰好誰不好，Steve 是一个很好的老公。我只是想說我們的不同點，也想說，只有自己體會，才能知道要經營婚姻是很不容易、簡單的，但請千萬不要成為像蘇格拉底般的＇哲學家＇！

“不管怎樣還是要結婚; 如你娶到一位好妻子，你會很幸福; 如你娶到一位不好的，你會成為一位哲學家。” ～蘇格拉底（我翻譯自英文）

Some married people might say that marriage needs the couple working together. How do we do this? Do schools teach us? Do parents teach us? Oh…maybe seminars and books about marriage… However, the speaker is just talking and the author is just writing about topics like: respecting each other, supporting each other, how to communicate, love is not expectation, unconditional love, etc…’ They make it sound so easy and simple when they talk about it, but how come while we are married, it is not so easy and simple to do!

Sometimes I think something is a small issue and want Steve to do it, but he will give excuses and doesn’t want to do it…

My habit is, if I have time I will make the bed every morning after I woke up. Steve said why make the bed as I will sleep on it every day. After I was with him here, the one who wakes up later will make the bed…

I will arrange time for organizing things frequently, like documents for filing in separate folders. Steve has many small piles of documents but they are becoming big piles gradually.

I think if a matter can be settled, I would do it promptly. An example is the dresser in the bedroom. Steve mentioned he wanted to have a new one since I moved in. We have been looking for one in a couple of furniture shops, but until now, we still haven’t bought a new dresser yet. I thought Steve would think if the matters could be delayed then just delay them. However, I don’t know how long he would delay them…

In fact, I do not mean who is good or who is not good. Steve is a very good husband. I just want to tell our differences, and also want to say: you will only realize and understand that marriage is not so easy and simple as they make it sound. However, please don’t become a ‘philosopher’ like Socrates!

“By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.” ~Socrates

Vehicle

(Photo taken in Penang)

The most popular vehicles in Penang are motorcycles, like 70 or 80 CC type. They are fast and easy, very convenient in small lanes or streets, and easy to find a place to park. However, those who can afford to own a car are also increasing. It seems like almost every house has at least two vehicles! But in Penang, if you are going out by car, sometimes it is hard to get a parking place! There is a fee to park in most places.

On the streets here, I rarely see motorcycles, especially in winter (and motorcycles here are big models). All stores and other places only have car park facility and have at least two parking spots for handicapped. Those who park in handicapped parking spots also need to hang a handicap tag or have a handicap license plate. Most parking places are free.

America’s public facilities are convenient for the handicapped, so you often see even people in wheelchairs at shopping centers or other places.

Two layers of door

这里的店或房屋，一般都是有两层的门。房屋的门设计，通常外层是玻璃门，内层是木（或金屬）门，两层门是為了避免風吹进店内或屋内…
馬來西亞的店或房屋，一般也都是有两层的门。房屋的门设计，通常外层是鉄栏门，（攝于槟城 Photo taken in Penang）内层是木（或金屬）门，（攝于马六甲 Photo taken in Malacca）两层门是為了避免賊撬进店内或屋内… 不做鉄栏门好像就不能住人，不过賊要进，怎样也可撬进，管它是什么鉄栏门…那这么说到底要不要装鉄门呢？每个人都装當然要装啦，不能鹤立雞群嘛！（某友攝于槟城 Photo taken by a friend in Penang）
Steve 感到奇怪為何槟城的房屋门像牢门！

Normally, shops and houses here have two layers of door. The doors for a house have an outer door that is glass and the second, inner door that is wood (or metal). Shops and houses can avoid wind blowing inside with two layers of door…

Normally, shops and houses in Malaysia also have two layers of door. The doors for a house have an outer door that is always iron bars, and a second, inner door made of wood (or metal). It is supposed to prevent thieves from prying into the shop or house… If it does not have iron bars, it is not suitable for living in. Nevertheless, even with strong iron bars, sometimes thieves can still get in if they really want to get in… So, I wonder if it needs to have iron bars or not? However, everybody else installs them so then you do too, as we couldn’t stand alone!

Steve felt strange because the doors in Penang houses look like jail doors!

Clock on the floor

我们应邀去 Steve 表兄弟姐妹们的聚会，Steve帶他做的 snickerdoodle cookies 参加聚会，Steve 很少与他们見面，对后輩们都不大认识。我们吃了食物，呆一会后就走人…
我们到附近的大購物商场。咦…怎么地上会有时钟？这是一间中高档的百貨商店，它的天花近门口處设了一个射影时钟向地板… 哗！很 cool！

We were invited to Steve’s cousins’ party. Steve made snickerdoodle cookies for the party. He didn’t know a lot of the young people there because he rarely sees them. After we ate, we stayed a little before we left…

We went to a big shopping mall nearby. Hmm…How can they have a clock on the floor? This is a mid-level department store and there is a projector in the ceiling showing the clock at the entrance… Woah! It is pretty cool!

The first day of 2008

我们在家里看着电視 New York的新年倒数…迎接 2008。你的新年願望是什么？
2008 的第一天，我们要到 Red Lobster餐館欢庆我终於成为美国居民。天气零下及刮着寒風，我装備手套、围巾、暖衣好后，我们快步冲去車房。汽車的暖气还没夠暖但已抵达，我们又快步冲进餐館…

We were watching the New Year’s countdown event in New York on TV…welcoming 2008. What is your New Year’s wish?

On the first day of 2008, we wanted to go to Red Lobster restaurant to celebrate me finally becoming a US resident. The weather is below freezing and very windy. After I got ready with my gloves, scarf and heavy coat, we rushed from the house into the garage. However, the heat in the car hadn’t gotten warm by the time we already arrived at the restaurant. We rushed again into the restaurant…