Worth the wait

(Sapa, Vietnam)

Sometimes I doubted when people talked about ‘predestined’… It is not that I didn’t understand the meaning; however, some people might think a situation is hopeless and make an excuse that it is ‘predestined’; or they might say, “If something is not ‘predestined’, then there’s no point to cracking my head.” It sounds like life is fate! I think we can put ‘seeds’ (causes) in every moment, and once the seeds meet the proper conditions…then we might deserve the ‘fruits’ (effects).

A friend knew that I am close to ‘middle aged’, but finally found my soulmate and got married … She thought I am a good example for those ladies already over age to marry but still single – Never give-up trying to find your soulmate.

I’ve really put effort into having a daily routine for the past couple of years – I sent a message to the universe every morning and I had a strong belief that my guardian would watch over me and arrange the right soulmate for me!

Steve and I had the same thought - we were already waiting for each other for a long time! I wrote my thoughts and shared it with friends at the end of last year. Perhaps, you missed it. That’s okay; I’ll share it with you now:

You, I, did not know

Who was I Where did I live in past life

What did I promise

Even though we hoped to meet again in next life

Yet to know

How long to wait

But since we met and fell in love

Just you and I knowing

It was worth the wait

It was great to meet

It is great because we grow and learn from each other

It was wonderful to fall in love

It is wonderful because we sincerely care for each other

Incense burner

Steve很喜歡香味…所以他喜歡收集各形的香炉及香枝盘。

有一次，我们参觀一间寺廟，他看到大香炉，（攝于北京）他说，“我也要放一个大香炉在我的家，一定很cool…” 傻meh…只有寺廟才能放大香炉啦…

之前我們買了一個飾物架… Steve有很多小飾物，未理清要擺上那些飾物，所以沒有对它做何行動，它就比我更空閑在家了幾天。我想了想，就把Steve的香炉收藏品擺滿它的身上… 幾乎让它有点窒息。哈哈…一個架子怎么夠？

Steve likes incense…that’s why he collects many different designs of incense burners.

Once, we visited a Buddhist temple. He saw a large incense burner, he said, “I want a large incense burner in my house too, looks cool…” Silly guy…the large incense burner is only for the temple…

We bought a deco stand… Steve had many little souvenirs and couldn’t figure out what to place on it, so it was more relaxed than me for a couple of days at home. I looked at it and thought; then I placed his incense burners on it… It became too crowded and couldn’t breathe. Ha-ha…one stand is not enough?

Accepting fear

我有時会作可怕的夢。前三晚，我連续都做了可怕的夢，诸如進入某間鬼屋，看到火燒屋子等… 我在夢里时的感覺很害怕…

昨晚臨睡前，自己跟自己對話﹕

“不要再作惡夢了啦！” “為什么你会害怕呢？”

“我不知道！請＇害怕＇來和我對話吧！” “我是＇害怕＇。＇我＇都不覺得我很可怕，為什么你要怕＇我＇？”

“也許我不能接纳你。為什么你要出現呢？” “因為你时常忽略＇我＇。＇我＇的出現是要提醒你一些事情…”

“噢！那我要如何对待你？” “你可以拥抱＇我＇嗎？”

“好，让我拥抱你！” “感覺如何？”

“很舒服！你呢？” “＇我＇感覺被接纳。”

我很好的入睡…

Sometimes I have scary dreams. The last three nights I had bad dreams, like going into a haunted house, seeing fire burning houses, etc… I was afraid while in the dreams…

Yesterday night in bed, I had a dialogue with myself:

“Please don’t have anymore bad dreams.” “Why are you afraid?”

“I don’t know! Please ask ‘fear’ to talk to me.” “I am ‘fear’. ‘I’ didn’t think that I look scary. Why do you hate me?”

“Maybe I couldn’t accept you. Why do you want to appear?” “You always ignored ‘me’. ‘I’ appeared to remind you about something…”

“Oh! So how should I treat you?” “Can you give ‘me’ a hug?”

“OK, let’s have a hug!” “How are you feeling?”

“I am comfortable and happy. How about you?” “‘I’ have been accepted by you.”

I slept well…

29.8.07

Japan gifts and doll

Steve的日本分公司同事得知我們结婚，而帶小禮物來…

你看到一個像小胖公仔，那是日本的＇達摩＇公仔。多年前他在這里買了一個公仔，那时他尚未去日本公幹。它原本是没有点上一雙黑眼球的… 這是让你許願时点上一只黑眼球。當願望實現时，你就可点上另一只黑眼球了。我扺達美國之后，Steve用黑墨筆將第二只眼球点上了… 我想他的願望已實現了囉！

他说，“也許我買大個的＇達摩＇公仔，我們就可以快些認識。”

Steve’s colleague in a branch office in Japan, brought gifts to us when she knew we got married…

You can see a tiny thing, like a dumpling doll, called a ‘Daruma’ doll, from Japan. He bought one many years ago here before he went on business trips to Japan. Originally, it is without eyeballs… You make a wish and paint in the first eyeball. When your wish comes true, then you paint the second eyeball on it. When I arrived in the US, I saw Steve use a brush with black ink to paint the second eyeball… I think his wish came true!

“Maybe if I’d bought a larger ‘Daruma’ doll, we would have met sooner,” he said

28.8.07

Fountain

Sue很喜歡水池…所以她家里前前后后有很多大小不異的水池。我們有些嫉妒…

我們路過一家花園店，進去看看… 噢！竟然有几个水池削价50%，就買一個回去嘛！

高高興興的選了一个＇風水＇位把它擺上去，加了一枝不知名的綠植物及透明龍飾物之后… 插上電流，水流開始運作了… 聽到水聲從上流下另一個水瓶，Steve說，“这水聲令我忍不住要去尿尿！” 哈哈…

這水聲有点大聲，我們开始感到有些吵…又把電插頭拔掉。

嗯！我在寫blog时想着，其實應该還有其它辦法不讓它有水声的…比如塞一塊水棉在瓶口，水流下來接觸的是水棉而不是水面…那不就…没有水流聲了嗎？等一下，就去弄弄看...

Sue likes fountains…that’s why her house has many small and large sizes of fountains. We felt a little envy…

We saw a garden shop on the way home, so we went in and had a look… Oh! They have a couple of fountains on sale for 50% off. Let’s buy one of them!

We were happy and chose a ‘feng shui’ place to hang it, put an unknown green plant in it, and a transparent dragon deco on it… Plugged it in and the fountain was working… The sound of the water falling from the top to bottom pot, Steve said, “I have to go to bathroom!” Ha-ha…

The sound was a little noisy and we felt a little annoyed… we unplugged it.

Um! While I am writing, I think I have a solution to avoid the draining sound… Example, to stuff a piece of sponge in the jar and the draining will go onto the sponge instead of the water surface…then suppose… no draining sound? Will go to try it later…

27.8.07

The New Cathedral

Steve住在St. Louis已有35年，但很多週圍的景点，他都未曾踏足…

他的朋友推薦参觀The New Cathedral (Cathedral Basilica) ， 果然，它比起The Old Cathedral更有看頭… 除了很大間，可容纳龐大人数，裝璜、材料、設計 都很富麗堂皇。噢…原來Saint Louis城市名是取自這位法國國王聖名。Steve不忘為亡父點燭燈…

我們觀賞完教堂，準備要出去了，却聽到播音報告…即將會有一項電子風琴介紹。

電子風琴師講解這架已有82年历歷史的電子風琴，它已被翻新装了一些很先进的仪器… 如小電視營幕可觀察教堂各角落的情况、預先錄制音樂系統、連接着教堂樓上各處的118 列，共有7,621器管…等等一些我對樂器一竅不通的設置。只知道它價值不菲。我們有辛走了一趟電子風琴師有趣的電子風琴設備遊覽。

教堂外舉辦一日盛会…

在回途中，我和Steve的談話…

“為什么你住在這里這么久了，很多地方你都没去過？” “一個人去觀賞，不会感覺有趣…”

“我改變了你的人生？” “不僅！我以前的生活，只是工作、回家、吃、睡、工作，不像人生！”

“我美麗了你的人生？” “Yes！”

“我豐富了你的人生？” “Yes！”

“你也豐富了我的人生。”

Steve has lived in St. Louis for 35 years, but has never gone to most of the attraction places…

His friend recommended visiting the New Cathedral (Cathedral Basilica). It’s really more attractive than the Old Cathedral… Not only is it much larger to contain many more people, but the materials, decorations and design were very gorgeous and majestic. Oh…the city’s name of Saint Louis comes from a king of France who was made a Saint. Steve lit a candle light for his dad…

We finished the visit in church and thought to go out… then we heard an announcement that a tour of the organ was about to start.

An organist introduced the organ, which is 82 years old, but it has had some advance technologies installed… Like a small TV screen for some view points in church and a music recording system (a sequencer). It is connected to 118 ranks (7,621 pipes) in the dome and throughout the church… Some things I didn’t understand as I don’t know much about musical instruments. I just know it was valuable. We had an interesting organ tour by the organist.

A Cathedral Fete (festival) in the yard…

We talked in the car on the way back home…

“Why haven’t you been to these places, as you’ve been living here so long?” “I didn’t think it would be interesting to visit them alone…”

“I changed your life?” “More than you can imagine! My previous life was not a life. I just went to work, back home, eat, sleep, and work. That was not a life!”

“I color your life?” “Yes!”

“I enrich your life?” “Yes!”

“You enrich my life too.”

26.8.07

Dream's message

我又作夢了… 夢到我和SZ走在Penang的某条街上… SZ說，“我想向你请教一件事情…” “我們找一個地方坐下來談吧！” 路邊有一個小kopi檔，車行人吵雜…我們覺得不是很適合。我看到它對面有一间kopi店，“那里比較好，不如我們去那，坐着談話…” …

(現實中，SZ去年曾有三、四次约我到小食店談論她面對的事項… 之后有一段時間，各忙各的，很少碰面。)

醒來后，梳洗做完＇早課＇… 查看email﹕

有一email，Penang一女性朋友说有想到美國讀書、工作，問我這邊是否有什么機會…

另一email是朋友的朋友，還在Penang工作，十月將會到美國结婚和她的丈夫住在一起，她問我是否有请律師辦理有關永久居民文件的手續…

啊！有人找我談論事情… 夢境是否已先反映將發生的事？

I dreamed again… in the dream, SZ and I were walking on one of the streets in Penang… SZ said, “I want your advice about something…” “Let’s find a place with seats where we can talk!” There was a small food stall at the road side, but it was noisy… We thought it was not a good place. Then I saw a restaurant on the opposite side of the road. “There looks better, let’s go there and we can talk…” …

(In fact, SZ and I had three or four meetings in restaurants last year and talked about her issues… Then, we were busy with own business and did not meet much with each other.)

I woke up, cleaned and did my daily routine… I checked my emails:

One email was from a female friend in Penang, she asked me about opportunities for her to do part-time study and work in the US…

The other email was from a friend’s friend who is still working in Penang; she will move to the US in October. She will marry and live with her hubby. She asked me whether I engaged a lawyer to coordinate the paperwork for the PR process…

Ahh! Someone looking for my advice about something… Did the dream foretell what would happen?

23.8.07 6.45pm

Vote

America’s Got Talent的US$1百萬贏主，果然是如我預料的人 – Terry Fator！以下是從YouTube找到関於他的錄影﹕

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ti-qwSLgkjI&mode=related&search=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xwdIxHP5UA&mode=related&search=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UPaRi0WY7c&mode=related&search=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6XpnMopr_o&mode=related&search=

我有時會把有趣的事情與你分享，但我卻不是很清楚，探訪我的blog的人，是否覺得我的blog有趣或有何想法。你有没有發現我的blog加了一个投票站？请每位探訪者，请您誠意的作選一個答案，以让我了解我的blog進展。下回將可能会出現不同的問答。

The winner of the US$1million prize on America’s Got Talent is Terry Fator, as I guessed. The following links are to his videos, which I found on YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ti-qwSLgkjI&mode=related&search=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xwdIxHP5UA&mode=related&search=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UPaRi0WY7c&mode=related&search=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6XpnMopr_o&mode=related&search=

Sometimes I like to share interesting things with you, but I don’t know what people who visit think about my blog or find interesting. Did you notice my blog has added a poll? I would like to invite all of my blog visitors to vote your answer sincerely. This is to help me understand the development of my blog. The poll might have another question on next time.

22.8.07

Family day

這次我们去拜訪Steve的媽媽，我感覺家人增加了一些熱鬧，因為住在較遠的Joan，Steve的姐姐也和我們在一起。Joan有三個兒子，大兒子已结婚，Joan已有两個小孫女了。她常偶爾與媽聯系但已很久没見面，這次她獨自乘飛機來探訪媽，與媽小住幾天。一家人難得聚在一起見面，媽顯得特别高興！

這裡的學校暑假將结束，新的学年后天即將開課，身為教師的Sue也忙着開課前的準備工作。她帶我們到她的學校課室参觀… 這間是由Catholic教堂創办的小學，所以學生們每天也会有一堂宗教課。這是Sue的課室，她有17位八歲的學生… 這里的制度是，一位老師將負責全學年全日全堂課，即是說Sue是这班17位學生的主任老師。我覺得這間教堂學校很規化，比Penang的任何一間小學更清洁、舒適… 啊…很幸福的小孩…

This trip we went to visit Steve’s mom again and I felt our family had a more joyful time, because Steve’s sister, Joan, was there with us. Joan phones mom sometimes but it’s been a long time since she last saw mom, because they live far apart. Joan has three sons and the eldest son is married with children. Joan is the grandmother to two little granddaughters. She flew alone to visit mom and is staying in mom’s house for a couple of days. So hard for all of us to be together at the same time; mom looks very happy!

The summer holidays here will end soon, and the new school year will start on Wednesday. Sue is a teacher and is very busy preparing stuff for the opening of school. We went to visit her school and classroom… This is a primary school organized by a Catholic church, so the students need to study religion lessons everyday. This is Sue’s classroom; she has 17 students, aged eight years old… The system here is one teacher to teach all of subjects of a day’s lessons for a grade of classroom. It means Sue is form teacher to these 17 students. I think this church with school is very organized, and its facilities are clean compared to any primary school in Penang… Ahh…the children have a nice place…

20.8.07

Dreams

從心理學角度，夢似乎是潛意識的一种呈現、抽象的表達… 这幾晚我常做一些奇怪的夢，跟水有关，醒來后，我猷記某部份的夢境，但却不知道，這些夢是要告訴我什么呢？我和你分享三晚夢境的段落﹕

第一晚﹕我走在我生長的家区一条街上，前面却是一片深水，我就開始向前游泳，邊游邊想，覺得有点驕傲我會游泳！啊…我游泳却沒有載泳鏡，家就在附近，可以去拿泳鏡。我走進去家里又出來！手拿着泳鏡，但是外邊已没有深水了，怎么變成不一样了？

第二晚﹕我在一處脚踝下有水有石頭的地方，我走到一粒大石頭旁，有人走过來問我如何去那個地方，我指着一方说，“就是向那邊走去，我帶你們去…” 我轉身要走，但大石頭另一邊是深崖，我跌了下去，很驚嚇…我看到下面是水，我心想這水是深还是淺？當我往上看時，我似乎已是在水底，上面是水面有一些陽光及其它物体，我在想我能否游出水面？

第三晚﹕我走到一處有樹有沙石路的地方，停下來歇一会及看看週圍，又走向另一個地方… 當又回到這處有樹有沙石路的地方時，我驚見怎么這地方被水淹了，已看不到沙石路… 我担心是否能走過去？

你是否能分析夢或你有何分享嗎？

From the view of psychology, a dream is like an abstract message from the subconscious… I had some strange dreams related to water these past few nights. I still could remember parts of them after I woke up, but I didn’t know, what are the messages to me from the dreams? I would like to share those parts of dreams with you:

The first night: I was walking on one of the streets in the place where I grew up. In front of me is full of deep water. So I started swimming, and I felt proud that I can swim well! Ahh…I didn’t have goggles while swimming, but I can get them since my house is nearby. I went in my home and came back out! I brought the goggles out, but I saw no more water outside. I thought, why did it change so much?

The second night: I was in a place with many rocks and water about at my ankles. I came and stood beside a big rock. Someone came to me and asked how they can get to someplace. I pointed to a direction, “Go that way, I can lead and go with you guys…” I turned and fell down from a high precipice just behind the rock. I was frightened and looked below; there was water. And I was thinking about how deep the water is? When I looked back to the top, I think I was under the water and I could see the water of surface with a little sunlight and other things. I am thinking, can I swim up to the surface?

The third night: I was walking at a place with trees and a sandy path. I rested a little while and looked around the place. I continued walking… When I went back to the place with the trees and path, I was scared because it was flooded and I couldn’t see the sandy path… I was worried, how can I get over?

Do you know how to analyze dreams or would you like to share something?

17.8.07

America's Got Talent show

最近電視有一項節目，叫America’s Got Talent。昨晚從八強進入四強，四強的最后一次的表演都非常精彩http://www.nbc.com/Americas_Got_Talent/ 。四強中有三強是演唱，我最讚嘆、欣賞的是腹语術、口技表演者，Terry Fator。這是他之前的表演錄影http://www.nbc.com/Americas_Got_Talent/contestants/bio_terry_fator.shtml。他不僅雙唇不动，還能模仿别人的唱腔聲調。我覺得很少見像他這種特別又多技能的人！我從來没投選過任何電視節目的表演者，但我真的忍不住要投選Terry！

從這四強，觀眾可用電話或上綱投選他們。下星期二將會揭曉，是那一位以最热門勝出，贏走一百萬美金呢？

The TV network NBC has recently been showing America’s Got Talent. Last night the show reduced the top eight performers to only four for the final round. The performances by the four finalists were so great. http://www.nbc.com/Americas_Got_Talent/ Three of them are singers. I am so amazed and impressed with Terry Fator, a ventriloquist; he is extraordinary. These are some of his performances http://www.nbc.com/Americas_Got_Talent/contestants/bio_terry_fator.shtml. He could impersonate other people’s voices and singing without moving his lips. I think it is rare to see such a unique multi-tasking talent like his. I never before voted for any performers on a TV show, but I couldn’t wait to vote for Terry!

The audience can vote for these four finalists by phone or online. The results of voting will be shown next Tuesday. Who will be the winner going home with US$1 million?

15.8.07

Power off

前晚约一點，一陣的大風后，電流就中断了。没有冷氣風扇，Steve熱得睡不着覺！一向可適應熱天的我，却不知覺，至到早晨醒來才曉得没電。啊…家里的用具都是靠電流，連冲杯熱咖啡也不能啦…如果中午還没來電，那一定得到餐廳用餐了…

Steve要去上班了…看到新鄰居和屋后的鄰居在交談。我們正后面的一家住着黑人女士，她隔僻的一家住着黑人家庭，是上个月才搬進來的新鄰居。我還没來美國前，我想像這里多数是白人，想不到却見到很多黑人住在St. Louis，我想我們的鄰居有一半是黑人。我們走到籬笆向他們打招呼，他們也走來和我們交談了一會…

Monday, early in the morning around 1am, the power was cut off, because of strong winds. It meant no air-conditioner or fan, so Steve couldn’t sleep well! There was no problem for me since I am adapted to hot weather. I didn’t know the power was off until I woke up that morning. Ahh….all of kitchen equipment are electric, which means I couldn’t have a hot coffee… We need to go out to a restaurant if we still don’t have power in the afternoon…

Steve was going to work…we saw our new neighbor talking with the neighbor whose house is behind ours. Behind our house is an older black lady’s house, and beside her house is the new neighbor, a black man and his family, who moved in last month. Before I came to the US, I thought most of the people here were white; it impressed me that I’ve seen a lot of black people in St. Louis, including about half of our neighbors. We walked to the fence and said hello, and talked about the storm...

14.8.07 4.17pm 晴熱

A hot wonderful day

Steve没有兄弟，所以他把好朋友Curtis當成哥哥。他们都是在相同的公司工作但不同部門，而經常约出來見面用餐。多年前他們常去某餐廳用餐，認識在那餐廳内很愛講話的招待員Wendy，她當时還是一名學生。Wendy畢業后，她偶爾也會参與Steve和Curtis用餐。

星期天早上十点，這一次是我們四個人見面用餐… Curtis雖然有魁武的肌肉，但說話蠻温和的。Wendy果然很健談… 非常愉快的一餐。

餐后，Steve帶我到靠近餐廳不遠的Forest Park。Forest Park的範圍非常非常大，我們只去了Jewel Box及Art Museum。Jewel Box內並没有金銀珠寶…只有花草樹葉。它附近有Colonial Daughter Fountain, St. Francis of Assisi statue, Korean War Memorial及Vandeventer Place gate… 來到一個滿是荷葉的小湖，我發現湖邊有一棵很特别的樹。躺着乘凉，聽着鳥叫聲，微風吹着…多么舒服、愜意…

來到Art Museum，外邊很热，我們趕快進去吧！除了美国的史物，也有其它国家的一些史物… 嗯！我好像在那里看過這幅晝。很洋化的印度佛像 … 近日Art Museum剛好展覽法國拿破倫的歷史物件… 啊…在這大間的博物館内走得很累！

Art Museum的对面，可看到Grand Basin湖…

Steve doesn’t have any brothers, but his good friend, Curtis became like one. They work at the same company but in different departments, and they always go out to meet for lunches. Many years ago, they often went to a restaurant where they met Wendy, a waitress at that time. She was a student and she liked to talk with customers. After she graduated, she sometimes joined Steve and Curtis for meals too.

10am Sunday, this time four of us met for brunch… Although Curtis is a big muscular guy, he speaks gently. Wendy is very outgoing… We had a very wonderful meal.

After the meal, Steve and I went to Forest Park, not far from the restaurant. Forest Park is very large; we just went to the Jewel Box and Art Museum. Inside the Jewel Box there weren’t any jewels…but it is full of plants. Nearby, are the Colonial Daughter Fountain, St. Francis of Assisi statue, Korean War Memorial and the Vandeventer Place gate… We came to a small lake covered with lotus leaves. I found a strange tree beside the lake. You can lie on the tree in the shade, listening to birds and enjoying the cool breeze… it is so nice and wonderful…

Here we are at the Art Museum, it’s too hot out here, let us go in! Besides American art, they also have some art from other countries… Umm! I think I saw this painting somewhere before. This is a western style Buddha statue from India… Now, the Art Museum is having an exhibition about Napoleon, called Symbols of Power … Ahh…so tired after walking inside this large museum!

The Grand Basin is the lake opposite the Art Museum…

13.8.07