Friday, March 9, 2012

Practicing to reduce anger

After I had lunch with a friend at an Italian restaurant, I was driving down a street I was not familiar with at all. I was following the GPS instructions to take me home. 
I was in the middle lane at a stop light, and in front of the junction, there were two streets. I thought this middle lane was for the ramp onto 70West. The light changed to green. When I saw the first car at the left lane going to the front left street, I found I was in the wrong lane. I swift on left turn signal immediately, and drove toward the front left. At that moment, I heard the loud horn from the second car at the left lane behind me. 
I said silently, sorry. 
I was tense, from my mirror, I saw the car behind intentionally close to my car, long and loud horn continuing onto the highway, and passing over my right side with some more horn.

(If you are in my situation, what is your thought?)



I said to him silently, I forgive you. 


Anonymous said...

1. something along the lines of "Asshole!" ... until I remember that the poor guy is out of Tao ... then I relax and hope he gets in the Spirit of Creation.

2. Peace, Tan, if and when I have been driving and find myself
in the wrong lane and other drivers upset with me, I do feel uncomfortable, wishing I had knwon better, sorry I scare, anger or confuse other drivers and probably wishing I was somethwere else, far away (I haven't driven for much for about 10 months now and cosidering the War and all, hope maybe I can live without consuming much gasoline by myself).

3. Yes, have been in that situation before. I know how you felt. I also started getting mad at the people around me honking their horns and being impatient. I have even yelled in the car, "Let me over then!" They saw that I made a mistake. They should have be kind enough to let me over! Sometimes there are people who will let you get over and back on track. I make sure I wave a thank you to those people. Also, if I see people in the wrong lane trying to get over, I stop and let them get in front of me.

4. Hi SinE,
What an unpleasant experience!
I would also be very shaken by the long horn tooting and dramatic anger from the other driver. My heart would race, my breathing would be tight, and I would also feel anger arise. I would probably yell back in frustration, and tell myself indignant stories about what an unkind impatient person that was. And I might take some of that negativity out on someone else, for no good reason...
Maybe, after a while, given a chance to breathe, calm down, and reflect, I might (on a good day) be able to see that the other driver's "angry" tooting was perhaps merely an unthinking reaction of fear. Or maybe that person was particularly impatient because of their own life conditions at that moment. Either way, I might be able to convince myself not to take that reaction personally. After all, this driver does not know me. He has a limited perception of my mistake, I have a limited perception of his reaction, and all of it is probably wildly inaccurate and unnecessarily dramatic. Given all that, I might be able to just let the whole thing go, take another breath, and smile.
Sound familiar?
Peace, Thomas

5. Something happen like this
First i do will feel sorry cause their trouble and wish I can know better about the road or driving.
But when they angry me back,then usually I will change my feeling.
Because their anger kind of remind me about HOW STUPID AM I , then I get angry at them
My anger is anger myself or they're unkindness? If I do not feel "I am stupid , I should be better, I am bad' not good.( all kinds of judgement )....the anger will still there?


6. People can be real jerks. You can't let somebody like that bother you. Everybody finds themselves in the wrong lane ocassionally and needs to get over. I personally would let the person over but there are people out there who aren't happy unless they are mean to others. Ask God to help him with his problem and forget him. By the way, I would have also silently said sorry, then when he started up with the horm I would have given him not nice gestures. Then I would ask God to give him some peace.

7. some people are just mean! Don't let them get to you

8. A lot of people have what we refer to as " road rage" and should not be on the road.

9. I will keep saying "I'M SO SORRY'' out loud and showing my sad face till them shut the horn up.

eHeart said...

I think this was a normal inner process: When we made a mistake, we will say sorry and blame own-self, and then might feel guilty. If other didn't show their emotion but forgive us, we feel release. But if other react with anger to us, we will feel angry too and blame back to them and then judging them... The worse, we arguing or fighting. I am practicing my self-awareness, reduce my anger hold me up from long to short period, like from 3 weeks, to 3 days, to 3 minutes, to 3 seconds, and maybe none. I was glad at that moment I didn’t raise any blaming to myself and didn’t feel angry back to his anger. I just said to him silently, I forgive you.